>Fat Bastard’s Fat Friendly 13 Days of Christmas For Fatlings & Gluttons

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>https://i0.wp.com/www.shorelinechurch.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/candy-canes.jpg
$easons Greedings From Bigger Fatter Blog 

Keeping with holiday tradition I, Fat Bastard would like to present to our readers my fat friendly version of the Twelve Thirteen Days of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me. As our many millions of readers worldwide know, my true love is food so I decided to rewrite this traditional holiday classic to be more glutton and fat friendly. I hope you enjoy this along with your figgy pudding and sugar plums as you celebrate this most greedy and gluttonous time of year…… OINK!

The Twelve Days of Christmas
By Fat Bastard

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On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two Doves chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French ticklers,
Two Doves chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four apple pies,
Three French ticklers,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries and French ticklers,
Two  Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce
.
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On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Rings Ding Jr’s,
Four apple pies,
Three French ticklers,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Dng Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two  Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove Chocolate Bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine fat lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove Chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten chefs a-chefin,
Nine Lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers pissing,
Ten Chefs a-cheffin,
Nine lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Ring Ding Jr,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce.

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On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve deep fried drumsticks,
Eleven pipers pissing,
Ten chefs a cheffin,
Nine lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Rings Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French pastries,
Two Dove Chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce!

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On the thirteenth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Thirteen pigs a-OINKING,
Twelve deep fried drumsticks,
Eleven pipers pissing,
Ten chefs a cheffin,
Nine lezzies licking,
Eight maids with Milk Duds,
Seven sluts a-swimming,
Six geese a-cooking,
Five golden Rings Ding Jrs,
Four apple pies,
Three French ticklers and pastries,
Two Dove Chocolate bars,
And a partridge in a pear sauce!

Now that you are drooling over all the food, sluts and fat lezzies see more holiday food, recipes and hot fat sluts and lezzies HERE!

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Fat Bastard and Proud FA wishing you a Merry XXX-Mas and a Happy New Year!

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Ooops! I almost forgot Thinnete and her cousin Skinny Linny

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>How Fat Guys Can Pick Up Skinny Chicks

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>

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Compassionate cuties saving landwhale!

This is male version of the damsel in distress routine. This lucky landwhale has two really hot babes fussing all over him.  Women have a mothering and nurturing instinct and skinny woman have it more so than the fat ones. As you can see from the photo the people who are rescuing him are not big muscle men who would love to show off there strength by lifting this quarter pound plumper. No fat girls are there to get their weight behind this fat boy. Nope! The ones who came to the rescue were two super hot bikini clad skinny women.

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YO HO HEAVE HO!

They don’t give up either! Maybe this clever fatling can get up but by now he probably has a raging boner under that big belly which is the gas tank for his love machine. I know if I had two hot thinlings pulling on me Little Fat Bastard would be standing at attention in full salute.

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Concerned cuties contemplate CPR

Feigning fatigue this big bellied boy garners sympathy from these hot heroines.

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Massive meat man establishing vertical base

With the power of a sumo wrestler this bean bag shaped big boy bounds forward. His “rescuers” are awed! FAT POWER!

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Petite Pretties Portray Joy

This fat boy gives these beautiful beach bunnies a show and a chuckle. Women love a guy who has a sense of humor!

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Portly porker powers up!
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Another fatling fails by flaunting to much flab

These girls are awed, excited and entertained. They will be fighting each other to see who he asks out for a romantic dinner. 

Play up on the nurturing nature and compassion of a skinny woman. Fake an injury or illness. If you are a true cardiac cripple all the better. Women find vulnerable men hot. Play your cards right (your credit card) and you to can be boning beautiful beach babes next time you beach yourself.

You don’t believe me? Just go to fat friendly Japan where women love fat guys. In the picture below you will notice how Japanese women shun skinny guys in favor of sumo beef cake. Turning their back is the Japanese way of saying, “Sorry Tojo, not interested. Come back after you gain some weight and then we can talk.”

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Hot skinny women shun stick boy!

>Fat Women Shoplift Hide Items is Fat Folds! Now that’s FATTITUDE!

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>While Bigger Fatter Blog does not endorse shoplifting or most other criminal activities in this case the amount of fattitude more than makes up for the crime these fat girls committed. Whenever I come across exceptional acts of fattitude Bigger Fatter Blog is compelled to report these inspirational acts to our millions of readers.  I only hope that they have a fat friendly judge at sentencing.

I think it is kismet that the police spokesman’s last name is Ham. OINK! One can only hope that the judge’s last name is Bacon.  Ah yes, Bacon and Ham on a fat roll.

The video speaks for itself. About all I can say is that these two women are an inspiration.

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Bigger Fatter Blog readers: Let’s give these divas a good OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK!

On a related story here are a few more example of diva fattitude.

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Fat girls often have great looking nails!

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Hair with fattitude!