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I like Harold Camping so I am not going to talk shit about the guy. Camping is not your average Christian dumb fuck. The guy’s an engineer and his mathematical and Biblical erudition is spot on. God is simply a liar and I feel bad that Camping found that out so late in life.

There was supposed to be a massive earthquake but all there was a was an anemic volcanic eruption in Iceland. It seems that a fat man with a buried penis and less testosterone than a girl can blow his wad harder than “Almighty God.”

If the Bible God is the real deal he will certainly wait until the world has reached its zenith of greedy gluttony. Right now he is having to much fun torturing the thinlings who continue to live like Spartans and work like Trojans. Food is live and true love is pleasure. Sure Bible God might be getting pissed but if this latest display of his “awesome” power is all eventually our Beligod will lay the smack down  on his candy ass.

What is going to happen is people are going to start trashing Harold Camping when all Camping was doing was merely reporting what Bible God was saying. Leave the wise old codger alone. The only mistake Camping made was trusting Bible God.

The following is from Wikipedia 

Camping has presented several numerological[19] arguments, or biblical “proofs”, in favor of the May 21 end time. A civil engineer by training, Camping states he has attempted to work out mathematically-based prophecies in the Bible for decades. In an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle he explained “… I was an engineer, I was very interested in the numbers. I’d wonder, ‘Why did God put this number in, or that number in?’ It was not a question of unbelief, it was a question of, ‘There must be a reason for it.’ “[20]

Harold Camping being interviewed about his prediction in early 2011.

As early as 1970, Camping dated the Great Flood to 4990 BC.[21] Taking the prediction in Genesis 7:4 (“Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth”) to be a prediction of the end of the world, and combining it with 2 Peter 3:8 (“With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”), Camping concludes that the end of the world will occur in 2011, 7000 years from 4990 BC.[7] Camping takes the 17th day of the second month mentioned in Genesis 7:11 to be May 21, and hence predicts the rapture to occur on this date.[7]
Another argument[22] that Camping uses in favor of the May 21 date is as follows:

  1. The number five equals “atonement”, the number ten equals “completeness”, and the number seventeen equals “heaven”.
  2. Christ is said to have hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.
  3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year, not to be confused with the lunar year), the result is 722,449.
  4. The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.
  5. 51 added to 722,449 is 722,500.
  6. (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.

Thus, Camping concludes that 5 × 10 × 17 is telling us a “story from the time Christ made payment for our sins until we’re completely saved.”[20]
Camping has not been precise about the exact timing of the event, saying that “maybe” we can know the hour.[23] He has suggested that “days” in the Bible refer to daylight hours particularly.[23] Another account says the “great earthquake” which signals the start of the Rapture will “start in the Pacific Rim at around the 6 p.m. local time hour, in each time zone.”[24]

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The food here sucks! I ain’t coming back! I know I promised but no fucking way!


God/Jesus lied his ass off! 
 Jesus was supposed to show up during the lifetimes of his apostles.  Matthew 16:28 There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”
Maybe the food at the last supper sucked. Maybe Jesus figured that he’d return to the same shitty meal so he stayed up in Heaven with his pop Jehovah surfing BBW porn and mowing down on cheetos and packing on the pounds. Hell, I’ve been to a seder and the food sucked!

There is an even simpler explanation that will placate the Christians. Maybe Jesus didn’t really lie. Perhaps he had intended to return and destroy the earth and kill nearly every living thing like his dear old dad did but maybe he merely got too fat. He would be bed bound or in a power chair but maybe he finally got some tasty food and he’s in a better mood. The unleavened bread and bitter herbs would put anyone in a bad mood. Now that food has improved maybe Jesus has a better disposition or perhaps he is just too fat to ascend back up into heaven.

  
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“Losing My Religion”

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Oh life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

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That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you

Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

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Every whisper
Of every waking hour I’m
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

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Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
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But that was just a dream
That was just a dream


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