>A message from me Fat Bastard

Of all the fat acceptance news groups Bigger Fatter Blog not only has the best content but with out a doubt we have the best commentators. I can’t really say who the best of the  best is because I can’t decide but for me personally Belly Boy’s adroit commentary and punchy delivery get to the meat of the issue every time. This latest missive by our own Belly Boy is so good and so important that I decided to feature it as a full article.

With the erudition of a Harvard trained Constitutional lawyer Belly Boy effectively draw discusses how the plight of fatlings on airplanes is closely related to gun rights and smoker’s rights. Belly Boy has bumper stickers on his power thrown that say, “National Rifle Association” “I smoke and I vote”, I EAT and I EAT and I Vote and I’m FAT and I EAT and I Vote”.

Belly Boy on Airlines, Smokers Rights and Gun Rights

I think that extra seats need to be provided to the bigger passengers for free.

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Tough shit stick boy; don’t blame us gluttons, blame the airlines!

Even if the plane is full, then they should boot a thin passenger from the flight and give his seat to the fat man who deserves it more, since he has had to go through lots of discrimination and hardship and adversity that thin people don’t even understand.

Also us fat people tend to earn less than wealthy thin people, so we need the extra money more – we can’t afford double seats because we have higher medical bills, and face discrimination in the job market and in the workplace. People think fat folks are lazy and it just isn’t true. If you want something done ask a fat man, he has loads of energy stored up and can outwork any thin person, who just endlessly talks about how thin he is and how everything has carbs.

If it weren’t for fat discrimination, I would be running a Fortune 500 company by now. I have applied for several CEO openings, and I never once got an interview even, and it is solely because of fat discrimination. I put my photograph on my resume because my mom says I’m very handsome, but all they see is the fat.

In short, I think that second and third seats need to be provided to passengers gratis, if they need them. It’s not my fault I’m this size, it’s SOCIETY’S FAULT. If obesity is a problem then it is a national problem, like war or tornadoes, and therefore it is the GOVERNMENT’S RESPONSIBILITY to solve this problem. For private companies to take it out on individual citizens is beyond the pale, it is ridiculous and absurd, and makes a mockery of everything we have worked for generations to build. Therefore, the government must kick in and purchase a second or third seat for any passenger who needs one, this way neither the passenger nor the airline lose out.

This was Belly Boy’s Salvo and He is Just Getting Warmed Up!

Fat Bastard is right when he says that technology needs to catch up to the American glutton.

We are still flying the same 747s that were made about a half century ago in the 1960s! It still takes 6 hours to go from NYC to LA, except it actually takes longer now because we have more security BS to go through before we can board the plane. Also, the stewardesses were much hotter back in the day, and the airlines provided excellent chow to all of the passengers.

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Japan Airlines still has hot stewardesses but Japan is a VERY fat friendly country

We need the airlines to step up to the plate and instead of cramming more and more seats on each plane to maximize their profits in the short term, they need to think long term and instead realize that their seats no longer reflect the average American’s size. They probably have been making smaller and smaller seats over the years to fit more in, but in reality they need to institute bench seating like the backseats of cars, and the front seats of good cars.

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The sky pig, coming to an airport near you.

Belly Boy, they are accommodating us gluttons with a new design. This plane has been nicknamed the sky pig. I heard it rev up its hungry turbo props and it makes a distinct oinking sound.
There’s no denying it. The Aeorscraft ML866 is one morbidly obese airplane. It’s time we had an intervention with the poor thing to help it deal with its problem. Obesity is a here people! The ML866 is scheduled to make its first official launch next month at the NBAA convention.
The fatty plane is actually pretty technologically advanced when it comes to the physics of aviation, utilizing dynamic lift with a very evident and robust buoyancy. It’s only a matter of time before the plane has a propeller attack, or a hemorrhage of the fuselage.
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Bench seating would be a great short term solution and we all know how much fatlings love sitting on benches.

We gluttons are suffering a death by a thousand cuts, just like the smokers. In the 60s and 70s you could just smoke wherever you wanted to, even on airplanes and in restaurants, and if it bothered someone that was their tough luck. Then they banned smoking on all airplanes and put smoking sections in the restaurants, and the smokers said “okay.”

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Haggard glutton forced to eat and smoke at home.

Then they took away the smoking sections in restaurants, and said “no you have to smoke outside” and the smokers said “okay.” And then they said “no you have to go outside and walk 20 feet” and they said “okay.” Now they’re banning smoking in all public places. Now ONE pack of cigarettes costs like $12 in New York City, because they just keep adding a dollar of tax whenever they feel like it and the smokers never stand up for themselves.

Belly Boy Continues…
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Sexy Southern Sow with Shotgun!

Compare this to the gun people. When politicians suggest banning military-grade machine guns for personal defense, with bullet-proof vest penetrating bullets in them, night-vision scopes, and a heat-seeking rocket launcher that can take out helicopters or air planes, the gun people go “No way you can’t ban that! It’s our right!” They don’t really care about those ridiculous things, they care about regular rifles, shotguns, and handguns – however, they understand that if they give in an inch, then it will get the ball rolling against them and soon the government will try to take away their guns or institute a national gun registry (which most southerners see as the first step to taking away their guns.)

Southerners are willing to literally die to protect their right to have guns. Whereas smokers just give in as long as it’s incremental, we will eventually make it so that parents with kids will have their kids taken away if they smoke in the house. No more smoking outside on public property either. Next they will institute a smokers’ tax for the “environmental damage” of the smoke. Then another tax for the cancer risks of second hand smoke, which they claim kills 50,000 people a year but that is complete BS because nobody dies of second-hand smoke.

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Us fat people have been acting like the smokers. “Sure, you can make me pay for 2 or 3 seats, and then if your flight attendant deems me to need only 1 seat I get refunded for the 1 or 2 other seats in 4 to 8 weeks.” “Sure, you can boot me off of a flight that I PAID FOR IN FULL just because your flight attendant subjectively says I am too big even if have flown on the plane before at this weight without problems.”

Belly Boy Concludes,

Next thing you know, they will be charging triple or quadruple for us fat people to fly. Then they will add an extra fuel surcharge because we weigh more. They’ve already done away with free meals. And then before long, they will simply ban all fat people from flying on airplanes and tell us to take trains and our cars instead. That’s the end game scenario for them, they only want thin people flying because they are cleaner, more obedient, and they take less fuel per passenger to transport.

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Airline food is a hate crime against gluttons.

If we don’t start fighting back, you will see the airlines institute a policy where no passenger with a BMI of over 35 will be allowed to fly in America, and by then it will be too late to do anything about it. We need to fight back now, and turn back the tide, and exact retribution, meaning free extra seats for us fat folks until the airlines start using seats that can actually fit us fat folks, who are the majority.

BELLY BOY, OUT

Belly Boy gets ejected from the airplane by a stewardess who bludgeons him with a serving cart tray screaming at him to die, while he begins to cry and moan in agony. Other fatlings look on, but choose not to help Belly Boy as he is being slowly murdered, and instead accuse Belly Boy of being a whining NAAFA member, even though he is dying for what he believes in – basic human rights for men and women of size.

After she has murdered Belly Boy in cold blood, she then drags another fatling out of the airplane and does the same thing to her. The other fatlings still refuse to come to her defense, reasoning that she must also have been a whiney NAAFA member. This keeps happening one by one until there are none left.


First they came for the gluttons,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a glutton.


Then they came for the gormandizers,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a gormandizers.


Then they came for the eat beasts,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t an eat beast.

Then they came for the pork beasts,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a pork beasts
Then they came for the landwhales,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a landwhale.

Then they came for me Fat Bastard
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

This is only one of many possibilities. You can help me, Belly Boy, and thereby protect yourself. I am the tip of the iceberg, so I’m who they are targeting first. Me and Kevin Smith, but it will trickle down and begin to affect more and more Americans until everyone is under the oppressive yoke of the airlines, who will make their seats designed only for anorexic 4 foot tall girls, and make everyone else pay for a half dozen or more seats, while keeping the prices the same, instead of being just and increasing the seat sizes in line with the average American’s size.

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The least they could do, as a stop-gap measure, would be to add some bench seats to every airplane, enough to fit at least 2 to 4 500+ lbs passengers.

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Deanne Dillard displays her pendulous grade 5 pannus on a park bench!

Belly Boy is an engineering genius! Fatlings love bench seats and they are already available. Planes could be easily retrofitted with bench seating.

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