God On Gluttony

Like always God is speaking with a forked tongue. Many fat hating Christians like the 7th Day Adventists (They are all skinny)  site the following verses from the Bible in order to support their dietary laws.

Proverbs 23:20-21 warns, “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”

Proverbs 28:7 declares, “He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.”

Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.

Then that lovable trickster God changes his mind. GOD LOVES FAT PEOPLE! (when he’s not hating and killing them.)

First of all, it is important to understand that the Christian God really likes fat. So I suppose he likes fat people, too. (He’s probably overweight himself.) All the fat is the Lord’s. — Leviticus 3:16

Even God’s sword is fat
(and bloody). The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness. — Isaiah 34:6

God even likes fat animals. He plans to feed people to to them to make them nice and fat
. Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field … Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth … And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. — Ezekiel 39:17-19

God makes the diligent fat.
(Lazy people are always skinny.) The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. — Proverbs 13:4

If you put your trust in God, he will make you fat.
He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. — Proverbs 28:25

God makes liberals fat, too. (I guess religious liberals should be the fattest of all.) The liberal soul shall be made fat. — Proverbs 11:25 This has to be true because when you push aside the tea bagging garbage Obama is far more conservative than Reagan but Bush’s liberal borrowing and spending must have been of set by his neo con war mongering and only made Karl Rove fat.

Being fat is is sure sign of righteousnous in the eyes of God.
The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree … they shall be fat and flourishing. — Psalm 92:12-14


Is it a insult to God to not enjoy his bounty through Christ our Lord? It would appear so.

The body IS the temple for the Holy Spirit so it would follow that butchering the body with WLS is an abomination. God is even against tattoos. It’s really easy to rub God the wrong way.

Just so you don’t offend God,  say a prayer before you eat.

Prayer one is; Good food, good meat, good Lord let’s EAT!
The other one is short sweet and to the point as well. Rubba dub dub. Thanks for the grub. YEAH GOD!


This one is for special pig outs in Catholic homes.

In the name of the Father, skip the ghost
The ones who eats fastest get the most! 

I suppose it matters what sort of mood God is in when you die as to whether he will send you to heaven or Hell. If I were a Christian I, Fat Bastard, like our Christian fatlings would choose gluttony. There are only 3 verses admonishing gluttony but there are six verses promoting it. What would Jesus do? He’d EAT….. A LOT!

Miss Pearus Beanbag